Let's Solving Problems!

sitralala19 Thu Jun 03, 2010 6:26 pm

This is just a story from a girl who feels that life is so meaning-less because of everything just turn to be sucks. Please be carefull with her.

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When I was still an elementary school student, I questioned why I should study like nuts and get good grades and be stuck with the whole shitty routine. I mean, how more boring can a life be? I was a shut-in from the outside world. My world was made up only from family and school.

I can't lie that I've been depression for a whole time, but just like people said that," It's all about preparing for your future". No bodys asked me to get a rest and they just talked about how great is my future will be if I study hard.

Why they asked me to study hard for becoming a smart and succes women in the future? Are they think that succes is having a lot of money? Why succes people must be rich? Why people think that rich is a guarantee of succes? Why? It's really sucks to always being struggling everytime at school to reach a good score and becoming closer with the succes in the future.

Here I am, studying at this school I dreamed of. I have friends and stuffs. Yet I still feel like life these days is quite meaningless.

This year I skipped classes, not skipped actually but make my self not too struggling of it. But it was fruitful, I was content. Then came the exam period. I studied like shit since I never give my full atention in any classes this semester.

I daresay once more: I'm not too struggling this semester, so I'm not give my full attention for any class this semester

So I studied like there was no tomorrow just for the sake of getting grades. Now exam period has ended, not ended actually only 2 lesson that already ended and big-big nope for rest of it. yet I became more pissed off than before. Sure, it's great that exam is not really over. But then, what is the point of an exam?

I'm not give my full attention in any classes. I spent most of my time doing my academic work or maybe just sitting in the class and all time daydreaming because I'm too tired to study. During exam period I shut myself from outer world and studied like shit. I don't know whether I'll be happy if my grades come out good or not.

Why the hell am I here? Am I preparing for my future? What future?
If I want to be a doctor I should have attended biology and math classes only and studied more seriously to get a perfect score on science and math. But then what is just it!

But is it the right thing to do? It seems like everyone are struggling to be the best in class.

Do I have to go through more years of uncertainty to finally see the answer I seek?

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